Mulling it over...

People, in general, are high maintenance. Most adult humans need some form of consistent hand holding. No, not literally you goof, but in a psychological manner. Most people have no self worth, and are too quick to assume that because you don't choose to spend several hours with them every day something is terribly, irrevocably wrong.

Why can I not have many persons with whom I choose to spend my time? Why is this not ok with so many young and mature adult humans?! It blows my mind.

Am I so different from the mass adult population that I am capable of knowing, and enjoying many different people? My closest friend I see maybe once a month, but we call and txt. She is not jealous that I take time to trail ride with people. My closest friend doesn't ride horses at all, which is my passion. It's not a big deal to her that I spend most of my time and money in a truck hauling horses around the state to go riding with many other people who are not her!

Anyway. I am completely confused as to why mature women get all messed up when somebody who is 35 years younger than them doesn't want to hang out every damn day. It's not particularly natural that a 25 yr old woman would label her best friend as a 60 yr old woman. That's not a peer to peer relationship. It's not exactly healthy that one part of this wants to be a peer to peer relationship. Anyway, such is my situation. It is very frustrating and stressful.

I do care about the persons in my life, which makes it difficult to tell this person how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling that way. She's been my teacher, mentor, and generous family friend. She is a good person. I recognize the wonderful things about her; she does her best to keep my interests at heart.

I must remember to seek to understand. I must remember to judge only by intent, if I judge at all. We are only human, we will make mistakes. We will hurt each other. To quote a wise friend of mine who occasionally forgets that fact: Life is going to happen whether we want it to or not, the trick is to learn to minimize the damage.