Friendship...

Friendship matters. It's not about the easy connections, friendship, in it's most real and honest form, is about having a family member that isn't a sibling. So, what do you do when one of these extra family members gets all buggered up and acts like a fool?

Enter my dearest "new soul" sister. Love this girl to pieces, really, but sometimes I am pretty sure she's simply retarded. She doesn't think things through, or consider all possibilities, she operates with her gut. Her gut isn't very smart. Today, she's mixed up with a guy I might place on parr with Richard Kuklinski... who was a mob hitman. She's moved herself into an RV in Coos County Oregon to be with him, and heaven only knows where her next meal is coming from... oh, did I mention he's currently on trial for raping a 5 year old girl? Yea, this dude's a real winner.

Here's where stuff gets crappy: people never listen. I KNOW, in my gut and every other cell, that this is a bad idea for her. I've shared my opinion on the matter, honestly and openly. We've had discussions about options and choices and ways to make decisions. I'm not upset she didn't listen to me. Actually, I'm really not too upset at all. I am worried. What happens now that she has no real job, and he's trying to stay out of jail? I don't know what will happen, but I don't feel good about the likely options.

So what do I do with this friendship? Do I abandon her? Do I keep trying to stay in touch? I mean, where do you stand when you know that her parents have changed the locks?

I choose to stand apart. It is not my job to judge her choices. Friendship of this nature, which is extra family, should be unconditional. I don't know how anybody else feels about it, but I think and believe that this should be like God's love. At least, as close to that ideal as I can get.

To that end, my decisions are the following: I will not abandon her, even though I don't agree with her. If she chooses that he is a good man, I accept that. If she chooses that he is not, and leaves, I will accept that as well. I believe that no matter what, she does need and deserve to have some voice in her life that reminds her she has worth and value, as well as reminding her to care for herself. Such is my new role.